Victoria and Albert

Dear Victoria and Albert:

Have you noticed that when doctors walk they look down at their shoes? I think they are concealing their guilt at being a part of the pharma- fascist complex but my husband thinks its because they like their shoes. What do you think about this?

Response:
Back in 400 A.D. after the plague of ladybugs that hit Turkey, the Ottoman Empire along with its physician class adopted a no shoe policy that precluded the medical profession from wearing foot coverings. Any doctor seen in public with shoes was stoned to death by special stoning squads that roamed the streets looking for such anomalies. That is why doctors tend to look at their feet because historically they have been victimized for wearing shoes.

Dear Victoria and Albert:
I have done some fact checking on your previous response and found it to be without merit. Your modus opperandi seems to be don’t use facts use fiction.

Response:
Sounds to me like you are jealous. Your ancestors were probably the Jealousies who in 1028 slaughtered the Ostentactoes at Troy. They were flummoxed when the Jealousies left a large statue of Paris Hilton outside of the fortress that was home to the Ostentactoes. They brought the stunning statue of the Heiress into the fortress’ boundary and were surprised and ultimately defeated by the Jealosies’ army who emerged from the vagina of Hilton. Get a life you curmudgeonly cur.

Dear Victoria and Albert:
I heard someone on HGTV say that President Bush was worth two in a hand. Is this another example of the liberal media’s bias against the truth and the American Way?

Response:
We share your disgust with Home and Garden Television. For some time now we have been monitoring this seditious pocket of propaganda dressed up as a lifestyle channel. We hope you chip away at the façade of shiny paint and glossy color visualizations.