Louisville, Ky. Churchill Downs traditionally a horse racing venue will, in the future, be just a little bit more than a place to fall-over drunk and lose your life savings.
This week a unanimous vote at the United Nations declared Churchill Downs a country from September 1, 2008.
The newest country in the world will be know has the Equine Republic of Churchill Downia. It will have its own currency: the Spires, which will be the only unit of currency acceptable within its national territory.
"We will also require people visiting our country to have valid passports," said the Equine Republic's Minister of Propaganda, Felicity Whip-hand Von Bastard. "Even if they are just visiting the track to benefit our economy. It's a security issue."
The Equine Republic plans to go nuclear immediately. The Pentagon confirmed that it would furnish the world's first racetrack-as-nation with a significant arsenal of nuclear weapons.
"Any unauthorized violation of our national border will be met with extreme force," said acting Life Chancellor Fredrick Von Eugenics. "Imagine a horse being whipped into a frenzy by a miniature man, with a Napoleon Complex, who when not riding a horse is either sitting in a sauna, or starving himself to the edge of anorexia. In short, you will be whipped to a pulp by our team of crack under-nourished midgets if you disrespect our right to exist as a nation."
The acting Life Chancellor showed me elaborate plans to transform the in-field into a one-thousand story building which would house the country's businesses and citizens. The tower will retract into the ground on Derby Day so tourists can be sick and uncomfortably sweaty without the burden of the gargantuan erection.
The acting Life Chancellor accepts that in order to build his new nation he will have to allow immigration.
"We will not discriminate in any way. We will determine our new citizens based on the strength of their bloodlines, their heritage and their ability to be white. Outsiders considering this criteria for citizenship will no doubt think this fascist. And that's exacting what I think it is too, " said the acting Life Chancellor.
This week a unanimous vote at the United Nations declared Churchill Downs a country from September 1, 2008.
The newest country in the world will be know has the Equine Republic of Churchill Downia. It will have its own currency: the Spires, which will be the only unit of currency acceptable within its national territory.
"We will also require people visiting our country to have valid passports," said the Equine Republic's Minister of Propaganda, Felicity Whip-hand Von Bastard. "Even if they are just visiting the track to benefit our economy. It's a security issue."
The Equine Republic plans to go nuclear immediately. The Pentagon confirmed that it would furnish the world's first racetrack-as-nation with a significant arsenal of nuclear weapons.
"Any unauthorized violation of our national border will be met with extreme force," said acting Life Chancellor Fredrick Von Eugenics. "Imagine a horse being whipped into a frenzy by a miniature man, with a Napoleon Complex, who when not riding a horse is either sitting in a sauna, or starving himself to the edge of anorexia. In short, you will be whipped to a pulp by our team of crack under-nourished midgets if you disrespect our right to exist as a nation."
The acting Life Chancellor showed me elaborate plans to transform the in-field into a one-thousand story building which would house the country's businesses and citizens. The tower will retract into the ground on Derby Day so tourists can be sick and uncomfortably sweaty without the burden of the gargantuan erection.
The acting Life Chancellor accepts that in order to build his new nation he will have to allow immigration.
"We will not discriminate in any way. We will determine our new citizens based on the strength of their bloodlines, their heritage and their ability to be white. Outsiders considering this criteria for citizenship will no doubt think this fascist. And that's exacting what I think it is too, " said the acting Life Chancellor.
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